Five Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence
In the month of August, we are going to look at some of the science behind winners. This includes whether people are born, bred, or become winners. For those who love science, we will also take a look at some of the neuroscience and studies surrounding winners; including, a deep-dive into some misconceptions about them. In this week’s episode, we start with the linchpin of a winner mindset… confidence.
Confidence better enables you to:
- Bounce back from setbacks and challenges
- You have to believe the work you are putting in is going to give you the results you want [02:42]
- You have to believe when other people doubt you, you can still trust yourself [02:46]
If you are here, then you are likely trying to change something about your life.
- You are asking yourself the question… how did I get here? [03:50]
- There was a time when I ran marathons and worked out 4-times a week… what happened?
- I use to be open-minded… what happened?
- My job was my passion, I was outgoing energetic… whatever it is… something has changed.
5 Characteristics of a Confident Person
1. Don’t hedge your success (plan to win, not to fail)
- I understand the thought that we should be prepared for anything, but I don’t think we should make plans that assume we are going to lose [04:43]
- Sure, if you are a military strategist and there are lives on the line, taking a moment to plan your retreat is necessary.
- As difficult as it sounds to say, I will tell you this story about this naive kid that only applied to one university.
- All of his energy was devoted to getting the right grades, volunteer hours and test scores. That was the only University he was going to attend, so he put all of his energy into achieving that goal.
- And you know what, that kid (okay it was me) got into Florida State University and graduated 4-years later.
Now can I be honest for a moment? I know I was 18 and invincible, but I have no idea why my parents were cool with it.. but they were… and will forever love them for supporting me.
We may not like to think of “keeping it real” as “dream crushing”, but that is what we are doing a lot of the time. We are telling those who believe how dumb they are for believing and that they need to be more reasonable.
You ever notice how bad a politician’s concession speech can be when they have to admit defeat? Sometimes they REALLY suck because the politician planned to win. They never spent much time planning to lose.
2. You don’t feel the need to compete with others (you only seek to outdo yourself). [10:14]
- In track, you are told to race the clock, not the person next to you.
- You can win a track meet versus your direct competition and not qualify for states or nationals because you are the tenth slowest time and they are only taking the top five.
- Therefore, you never allow yourself to be discouraged if you lose your meet (because you still may have a top five time), nor encouraged if you win your meet (because you may still be outside of the top five).
- You just need to focus on doing your personal best and beating your previous best.
3. You are not trying to intimidate others so you can feel more powerful. [12:58]
- There are those who believe the only way to have the tallest building is to tear down everyone else’s building.
- A confident person will simply build a building taller than everyone else’s if they truly desired to have the tallest building.
- This is actually a sign that someone lacks confidence, and are just pretending. You will also find people who find it difficult to admit they are wrong, or have problems with comprehending reality lack confidence as well.
- Confident people do not feel the need to intimidate others, and they are not intimidated by others. They are motivated by an internal desire to do their best. [14:47]
4. They easily move on from accomplishments [15:29]
- When I was playing baseball in High School, my dad would tell me not to read the articles praising me. He warned that those same newspapers would have negative articles about me the next week, so I need to dismiss the good with the bad.
- It is best to remain even, never too high and never too low. Just enjoying the moment, but never basking in it. 🙂
- Professional athletes are they win the championship are quick to talk about moving on.
It is important to keep a realistic view of yourself because what happens when everything you touch doesn’t turn to gold? [17:09]
- What happens when everyone cheering your name is no where to be found?
- What happens when everything you turned to gold starts to rust?
- You lost the customer you thought you won…
If you have build your perception and beliefs of yourself based on the successes that you have, when those successes are gone, your self esteem is gone. [17:31]
- When your situation changes and the confidence you have built for yourself are based on those situations, when those situations change (marriage, career, income, status, friends)… whatever it is, if you have built it on something outside of you – when it’s gone, your confidence is gone too. [17:41]
- The people who have real confidence easily move on from their accomplishments. They are motivated not by recognition, but are racing against their own potential. They know to act like they have been there before.
5. Self-awareness: the higher the level of confidence, the more likely he or she will take accountability for their own actions. [19:55]
- People who lack confidence find it hard to take accountability for their actions because they believe it is an indictment on them as a person.
- They see failure as a sign that they are not good enough as a person. [20:29]
- If you believe any time you mess up is an indication that you failed miserably, it makes it really hard to keep going on your change journey [21:40]
Life Changing Quotes:
- Confidence is the linchpin to having a winner’s mindset. [02:52]
- If you allow yourself to believe failure is inevitable, then it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. [05:04]
- When you allow yourself a safety net, the idea of falling is not as jolting for you. [06:41]
- You perform at your best… period. [12:28]
- Confident people know when they fail, it is not an indictment on them. [20:16]
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